Arizona Bureau To Hold Testicle Toss

On November 30, 2011, by AMI Staff

Vest, on left, with random Mustached American white male who amused him

This Saturday at The Firehouse in Scottsdale, the American Mustache Institute’s Arizona Bureau will cap  off a charitable moustache growing campaign raising funds for cancers affecting men.

“We’re excited to close out what’s been a glorious charitable campaign,” said Curtis Flournoy III. “Not only are we kicking cancer in the balls, but its also helping the American Mustache Improve ugliness.”

Robert Vest, a prostate cancer survivor who’s lived a sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle for some 30 years and works as a financial adviser for New York Life, will be honored and the event.

The charity event will also feature drink specials, a testicle toss tournament, live music, an oncologist , a mustache competition, raffles and giveaways, and cupcakes for some Godforsaken reason.

Testicle Toss, a.k.a. Ladder Ball

Asked to explain why the event will feature both the testicle toss tournament and cupcakes, Flournoy was adamant.

“The testicle toss tournament — also known as ladder ball — uses a PVC pipe built three rungs high and two golf balls attached by rope,” he said.  “You toss those two golf balls or ‘testicles,’ and try to get the rope to stay on one the rungs, with points given based on which rung you land it on.”

The testicle toss winner, Flournoy said, will receive a voucher for a free in-home testicular cancer check by winner’s significant other, and probably some other prizes of value.

“As for the cupcakes, if there is one thing I take seriously in life outside of my mustache and soft-core pornography featuring heavy-set women, it’s cupcakes,” Flournoy added.

For more information, email Flournoy at cflournoy3@gmail.com or call him at (480) 710-5938.