Clausen’s Lax Mustaches Aims to Be HEADstrong

On November 7, 2011, by AMI Staff

There is a sport. It is called “lacrosse.” It involves people in facemasks running around with sticks and throwing balls with the webbed netting on the ends of the sticks.

The double threat - Ken Clausen

Lacrosse is largely played in the northeast United States by wealthy young men who attend colleges like Dartmouth, Duke, Johns Hopkins, Virginia, Maryland, and Notre Dame. The American Mustache Institute is considering adding a team at its St. Louis campus that would play in Division I-AA, pending administrative review and funding from the State of Missouri.

We tell you this because it would appear the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle is taking root in the lacrosse community.

A mulleted mammal named Ken Clausen who has accepted a Mustached American lifestyle — making him a “double threat” — is leading an effort called Lax Stache Madness, a charitable endeavor benefiting the HEADstrong Foundation, which carries on the mission of founder Nicholas Colleluori through advocating, fundraising and supporting those affected by blood cancer.

Clausen, whose dialect screams Pennsylvania steel town despite playing professional lacrosse for the Denver Outlaws of Major League Lacrosse, is working to raise some $100,000 through Lax Stache Madness, and along the way filming periodic non-pornographic videos that update the progress of Lax Stache’s charitable endeavors.

And while he did not seek approval from the American Mustache Institute to hold a lip sweatering effort on U.S. soil — as is required by both Federal and Delaware law — AMI has decided it will not seek legal reparations from him as the cause is indeed worthy.

We ask the Mustached American community to delve more deeply into this “lacrosse” phenomenon and support Clausen’s efforts to raise much needed funds for HEADstrong.

Carry on.