You’ve certainly heard of the Dollar Shave Club. You  know them because, in theory, they stand against the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle — although in reality they do, in fact, support the Mustached American community.

More relevant, however, have you ever heard of the Dollar Beard Club? Their mission entails, “Giving your beard the nutrients that it needs will have a noticeable and immediate impact on the look and feel of your facial hair.”

And as the global center of the free facial hair movement and womb of laser cocksmanship, we at your American Mustache Institute give DBC our hearty endorsement.

You’re welcome.