This week, the forthcoming National Football League playoffs are reinforcing a simple truth: You can take the man away from his mustache influence, but you can’t take the mustache influence out of the man.
As the New England Patriots’ Chris Long prepares to play in the NFL postseason for the first time, he has drawn a line between competing with the traditional playoff beard, instead opting for a sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle.
“Look, I get it, there’s a playoff beard thing,” Long told media this week. ”But I decided I wanted a mustache this week.”
Destiny indeed. Before joining a winning organization, Long played is first eight miserable NFL seasons for the St. Louis Rams in the shadow of the world’s largest mustache — the Gateway Arch. And even now, playing in greater Boston, the call of the lower nose foliage cannot help but call to him.
“It might be there next week, it might not. I’m the captain of my destiny.”
Long, 31, has a long history of Mustached Americana, having often donned upper facial fur throughout his career, and he is adamant he’ll control his future facial forestry unit.
“I get to decide what facial hair [I have],” he said. “People on the Internet were like ‘Dude, where’s your [beard]? And I was like, ‘Really? Is that like a prerequisite? Sorry, I do playoff mustache.’”
While the American Mustache Institute supports all people of facial hair, we applaud Long for drawing a line in the sand, going against the grant, and adhering to his mustache calling.