What is 'Stache Bash? - Featuring the legendary John Oates, it's a ridiculous celebration of mustaches and music benefiting Challenger Baseball, where you'll see the winner of the "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" crowned. Is it some serious facial hair contest for shut-ins? No. It's a big, goofy party for a great cause, as this video from 2008 demonstrates.
When & Where is 'Stache Bash? - Friday, October 30. Doors open at 7:30 at the historic Orpheum Theater in downtown St. Louis.
Do I Need a Mustache? - No, but you'd look better in one, and we will give you a free one at the door.
Tickets - Tickets are $29 plus Ticketmaster's ridiculous add-on fees. BUY THEM HERE. Price includes BEER (wine & cocktails cash bar), our headliner and music lengend John Oates, Chicago's the Flavor Savers, Hazard 2 Ya Booty (who are, in fact, a Hazard to your booty), and the Bumbershoot Aerial Artists (trapeze baby!) who will perform throughout the night. You'll also get free mustaches, stuff from Quicken Online, concert tickets and other stuff from 105.7 The Point and KSHE.
Should I Buy Advance Tickets? - You'd better. Without a national act, last year sold out and people were turned away at the door. And keep in mind that Mustached Americans are popular. BUY THEM HERE.
Is There A Theme? - John Oates and the American Mustache Institute assures you it will be a "Hairy Halloween," as it's the Friday night before Halloween, so bring your costumes. Pants are your call. But dress like a member of the Village People, the Golden Girls, Magnum P.I., your favorite priest (Judas Priest), Frank Zappa, a mermaid, a merman, 1980s television mainstays Alf or Mr. T, or your ugly self - just have fun with it.
Who & What Will Be There? - About 1,500 very solid citizens OVER THE AGE OF 21, your new friend JOHN OATES, 2 other great live acts, free beer (wine & liquor costs), free stuff from Quicken ONline and 105.7 The Point, some ridiculous games, mustached or non-mustached Americans, a few Canadians and other non-Americans (with the exception of the Dutch - we don't trust the Dutch).
Can I Get a Beating If I'd Like One? - The American Mustache Institute reserves the right to refuse admittance, or have you removed from the event, if you are stupid, ridiculously intoxicated, act like a knucklehead, or voice praise for Dave Navarro.
Prizes - This year attendees can win prizes for best real mustache, best costume, the "Robert Goulet Mustached American of the Year" (nominate a candidate here), and Quicken Online and 105.7 The Point will be giving out free stuff.
And if This Makes No Sense To Me? - Then e-mail us at info@AmericanMustacheInstitute.org, call 877-STACHE-1, or call the Crab Lice Hotline.
What is AMI? - You can read about our full history here, but AMI is the only facial hair think tank and advocacy organization in the world which has fought against a long pattern of discrimination against the Mustached American community since its secret formation in the 1960s. In the 1990s, AMI went public and began putting on events known as ‘Stache Bash in St. Louis, home of the world's largest mustache - the Gateway Arch.
Disclaimer - AMI supports healthy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that contain no pesticides. Mustaches should be worn at the individual's own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro. Wearing a "Dictator" mustache may lead to repeated beatings. Mustaches should not be worn by women who hope to find employment outside of waste collection or who are looking for male companionship. If your mustache causes you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from a doctor, spouse, girlfriend, or Dave Navarro. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. Unibrows, commonly referred to as "forehead mustaches," are not recognized by AMI. AMI does not support chin coverage (i.e. beards, goatees) as they represent the "spousal compromise." The vast majority of mustache wearers have highly positive responses from friends, exotic dancers and grade school teachers. AMI strongly encourages consulting a physician before exploring your personal mustache capabilities, as premature mustache growth may lead to feelings of despair and depression. AMI cautions against trusting clean-shaven officers of the law. If a mustache-free constable attempts to stop your vehicle, dial 911 and proceed to the nearest police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet you with open arms. Please consider the environment before shaving your mustache.
