To
be loved is not just a song by
Papa Roach. We're all looking for a little bit of love. We all long to be
valued by something or someone. Whether it’s our families, our bosses, our communities, or, if we you are an athlete,
our teams. So we can only imagine how 26-year-old minor league baseball player
John Odom felt when this
happened. Being traded for a few baseball bats. That’s real love.
Then there's this
dreadful story about love by Stacy D. Phillips entitled “A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner.” And after we’d conjured
up visions of marriage counseling trips with Yenta psychologists named Lowenstein, it seemed appropriate to take the mustached
American, or contrarian, viewpoint, in looking at a few of Ms. Phillips’ “ways to know who someone really is.”
Phillips: If your partner always has to go first,
this could indicate self-centeredness. Are you willing to always be the giver?
AMI: Mustached Americans do
not give. We take. Now go get me a ham sandwich and a beer….please.
Phillips:
How your partner views right or wrong in a political sense tells you a lot
about his inner beliefs about society, and ultimately, the way he will approach
your relationship. AMI:
Clearly, the mustached man is generally right. Has Burt Reynolds ever chosen a
bad script? There are times we are wrong, ergo Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Estelle Getty. But our
record for correctness is in the 90th percentile.
Phillips:
If his tendency is to watch "escape" TV programs
versus "newsy/event" oriented ones, you can learn a lot about. AMI: At this point we realize that Phillips is as
much fun as a swift kick in the loins – the kind of gal who struggles to find a
male mate – and that she should be counseling the likes of Helen Keller. Of course we try to escape the doldrums of our
every day lives. Pumping gas, emptying trash, and taking orders from bare-lipped
heathens who are far dumber than we are
can only get us so far.
Phillips:
If your partner throws money around while dating, he might well be reckless
with your joint finances when you move in together. AMI:
High maintenance alert! She thinks she can have it both ways. Oh, that’s right,
women don’t ever walk away if you don’t spend on them….
Phillips:
Under Pressure, does he go to pieces or rise to the top of his game? If the answer
is the former, every minor incident in your relationship might become a crisis.
AMI:
In times of duress we generally find as many feral cats as we can and kick them
into oncoming traffic.
Philips:
Does he always talk about himself first or you? AMI: Again, get me a ham sandwich and a beer….please.
And
with that we give you this
song. Carry on. Oh, and we love you.