The
American Mustache Institute is certainly disappointed by former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura's decision to stay out of the race for
the U.S. Senate in Minnesota, but we had determined that we would not endorse Governor Ventura in a Senate race until
he grew back his delicious mustache.
As a former mustached American who has
acted in such Oscar-worthy scripted dramas
as Predator and Conan the Barbarian, as well as his esteemed role as a wrestler and commentator in the former World Wrestling Federation (now know as World Wrestling Entertainment), we were strongly inclined to favor his
candidacy, especially in a race against a comedian (Al Franken) and Norm Coleman, who was apparently named after a character on
"Cheers."
However, we remain open to
discussions with Governor Ventura as he ponders his fate. We would engage him in a discussion of our
platform of national issues: an Equal Rights Amendment for mustached Americans,
a federal holiday for Burt Reynolds' birthday, and a nationwide amnesty program
for the return of razors and razorblades.