The press is reporting that U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps showed up with a Fu Manchu 'stache at the first Olympic press conference today. "I'm just messing around with it," he told reporters.

Fu Manchu, China - get it? The Olympics are in China? Maybe you've heard about it. The Chinese are hoping to do for their image what the Koreans did when they had the Olympics which was to make Seoul look awfully cold.

As to Phelps' stache, this is, of course, the latest in the 'stache drumbeat of celebrities and athletes. The funny thing is that Mark Spitz, icon of the '72 games, had one of the most famous sports mustaches. He has said in interviews that he planned to shave it, but told the Russians it helped him swim faster. The next year, all the Russians had 'staches.

It is the Olympics, so most of us don't really care. I guess it's a great thing if it means no more Brett Favre-in-his-Escalade coverage by the cable sports networks. I'll admit it, I've never been able to get too excited about Olympic sports like swimming. It just seems like you could be walking faster than they swim when they do some of the more exotic swimming things like the breaststroke and backstroke. Now, if they had personal watercraft racing in those pools, it would really cool, like a very wet NASCAR. How about a criss-cross track and a demolition derby race, last Wave Runner standing? That would make for great television and there's no doubt we Americans would rule in those kind of sports that involved big powerful machines driven by big beefy guys and their hot women. They could release some sharks in the water to liven up the competition.

That's my kind of Olympics.